Peace out, 2020. I think…


So, part is me is beyond ready for 2020 to be over.

The other part of me is scared for 2021 to start.

I’ll be real. 2020 wasn’t great. Don’t get me wrong, I am VERY blessed for all the good in my life. I will never not be grateful for all the good that happened in 2020. My best friend got married. My other best friend announced that she is having a beautiful baby girl next summer. I got to spend a lot of time at home with my pups. I’ve gotten to spend more time with my husband. I have a roof over my head, food in my fridge, a job that pays me, and a family that loves me.

But alongside all the good, there’s been a lot of hurt. My position at work was eliminated. I’ve lost contact with many of my friends. My social anxiety is through the freaking roof from not being able to leave my house. My everyday anxiety is through the roof from all the unrest in the country. I’ve cried myself to sleep more times than I can count this year. So, yes. I’m happy 2020 is coming to an end.

But on that same token, I am scared for what hand 2021 might deal us. I didn’t really accomplish much this year and I have no goals set for 2021. I’m scared to set goals because who knows what the hell we’ll be able to do this coming year. Who knows what kind of insanity we’re going to be dealing with this year. And I don’t want to let myself down again.

Part of me wants to just crawl in bed and stay there forever. Ignorant to everything and everyone. Not because I don’t care, but because I don’t know how much more I can take. I don’t know how much more I’ll be able to withstand.

Unfortunately, there’s no way to know what’s ahead. There’s no fortune teller. No crystal ball. So, the way I see it, our only option is to walk into 2021 with our positive pants on. So, that’s what I’m going to try to do.

I am trusting that the universe knows what it’s doing. It knows my path and it will guide me in the right direction. I trust that I’ll find my place and I’ll know I’m fulfilling my purpose because of the signs the universe will be sending me.

All this to say, if you’re scared, it’s OKAY. Layered underneath my positive pants are my scardy pants. I’m just trying to let the positive prevail. That’s all we can really do when it’s all said and done.

So, remember, you are not alone. You were not alone in 2020. You will not be alone in 2021. You have never, are never, and will never be alone. I’m here. Right beside you.

We made it, love. Let’s keep going. 🖤



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